Beautiful Disaster
by loveasalways
Summary: Takes off after the midseason finale, and totally Spoby focused :
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: Pure. Spoby. Fluff. **_

Even the rain pattering onto her roof couldn't lull Spencer back to sleep. She kept thinking about HIM. She wanted to turn around for him at the station, she really did. But the thought of Toby being broken or worse kept her walking. She could keep telling herself that the officer's hand wouldn't let her turn, but she knew the truth that made her feel like such a liar.

Spencer wondered what he was doing right now. Probably cursing her name since she'd caused him so much pain. No one deserved to be hurt like that. But she felt, like how she felt about so many of the other problems A had caused, like she couldn't do anything to change it. He hated her and she deserved it.

She decided to go to bed. Thinking about stuff like this was only going to make her cry. She'd done enough of that in the first week after the break-up. And Hastings girls were strong. They didn't cry over boys, they sweat over success. And she was a Hastings.

*3 hours later.*

Spencer woke up gasping, her hair plastered to her face and neck in a cold sweat. She checked the time: 1:06. Something had woken her up. It was the same nightmare she had night after night. It kept her from sleeping more than 3 hours a night.

It started with Toby. He still looked at her like she was his everything, because she hadn't hurt him yet. His lips connected to hers and she felt bliss, like she was walking on air. But suddenly, they were in his truck on that fateful day. The one where she told him she didn't trust him. The one where she broke his heart.

But this time, she couldn't do it. Instead of breaking up with him like A wanted, she reached out to him to show him how much she loved him. But Toby pushed her away angrily, not wanting her to touch him. "Its too late for that now, Spencer. I know you lied to me." She tried to shake her head no, but she was frozen. "I know you never loved me, so just get out! I don't want to see you again!"

With that he pushed her into the car door, that opened under her. She fell, because she couldn't reach the car handle to hold onto, into hole that went on forever. She heard voices whispering "Liar, liar," before she hit ground and everything went black.

Spencer couldn't deal with this horrible excuse for a dream sitting in the dark so she grabbed her housecoat from beside her bed and tiptoed downstairs. She slipped on her black rainboots, tucking her long blue pajama pants inside of them.

Once she had closed the door behind her, she realized she hadn't exactly thought out where she was going to go. Somewhere to forget, she decided, heading towards Rosewood Park. It was her favorite place to cool down in all through her childhood after she fought with Melissa.

When she got there, she sat down on the worn-down wrought iron bench she'd memorized the location of when she was a kid. Spencer traced the metal with her pointer finger as she stared into space for what seemed like hours.

As she sat there, raindrops started to fall. They fell slowly at first, but soon it began to pour.

"Damn it." She muttered, pulling her housecoat over her head. She was stupid not to have brought a jacket.

The rain created a sheet over everything she saw as she tried to walk home. Soon enough, she could make out a house in front of her, but it wasn't her's.

It was Toby's house.

She didn't know why she was here. To talk to him, maybe? To hear his voice? Fat chance. Spencer knew that she couldn't even guarantee she'd get past the front door. She was sure like she always was that he hated her.

Almost from a distance, she heard a car door open and shut in the driveway.

"Spencer?" She knew it was Toby.

She turned slowly, ready to face him after four weeks of hiding. From him.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: So I just thought I should tell you guys what I plan for this story: it's going to be fairly short unless you want me to continue it :) Oh and there's lots of Spoby happiness for y'all!**_

Toby was a mess. A beautiful mess, her stupid mind corrected. His hair was disheveled, his stance looked tired, and the bags under his eyes told her he hadn't slept well in weeks.

And his blue eyes, his blue eyes were hurt.

A sharp ache went through her chest at the sight of him. She knew she had caused this.

"I just..." She trailed off, unable to speak.

"You just what, Spencer?" He eyed her distrustfully.

"I-" she took a step towards him. He didn't back away, so she gathered her courage and took another. But she put her foot down wrongly and her knee buckled, sending her falling forwards.

But Toby caught her, his hands holding her arms just in front of her. Their faces were closer now as he helped Spencer up.

"I couldn't sleep, or try to anymore." She whispered, not taking her eyes off his.

His eyes softened but he still let go of her. He wiped his hands on his jeans, almost nervously as he spoke.

"You could, well, stay here if you want." Spencer couldn't believe her ears.

"Sooner than later." Toby added, seeing Spencer's whole body shudder with cold.

She nodded yes, and followed him up the porch and to the front door, which he unlocked. Up the stairs and to his bedroom.

"The bathroom's that way." He pointed down the long hallway.

"Th-thank you." She stuttered.

As she was getting out of the shower, she heard Toby knock on the door.

"Yes?" She called.

"I have some clothes you can , uh, sleep in if you want."

It hurt for her to think about how they had become such strangers.

"Thanks."

"No problem." She heard him drop something near the door, then walk away.

When she opened the bathroom door, she saw that he had left her one of his shirts to wear and some pajama shorts he had obviously taken from Jenna's room.

She crept slowly back down the dark hallway, leaving her soaked clothes on the washroom drying rack.

Toby was lying on his bed, hands behind his head. She smiled mentally at him. Toby was always so perfect. He was shirtless, and looking down at what she was wearing, she realized that the shirt he'd given her matched the pajama bottoms he had on. She wondered if he'd planned it or not when she caught his attention.

"Oh, you're welcome to sleep on this bed." He stuttered at her. "I can take the couch downstairs."

Spencer shook her head. "Don't. Please." This wasn't rational, this wasn't smart, but this felt right.

Toby cleared his throat. "Okay. I'll take this side."

Spencer just nodded and made her way over to the left side of the bed, sinking in between the covers. She watched him as he stood up to turn off the light, plunging them both into darkness.

_**A/N: Next up, a Toby POV!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**A/N: Hey so I promised to update this story even though I've been really busy. Sorry about the shortness of it, I wrote the most I could! And its all Spoby fluff for ya :)**_

_**Disclaimer: I don't own PLL, or Toby's abs :(**_

Damn it. Why did she have to be so beautiful, even soaking wet and bewildered? Every move she made cut his heart open again, right along the newly healed scabs. It was too soon to see Spencer after their break-up, he knew. He hadn't built up a self-defense against her yet.

Every move he made around her was awkward and new for him. He knew what he wanted to do with her, but he also knew what he had to. She didn't love him, that should have been obvious from the start. But the more in-love part of him whispered that she had nothing to gain from this. He didn't know why she would play this game with him, because the side of him that knew his Spencer so well saw that she was hurting too.

He wished she was his again.

When she came into his room, with her towel-dried hair and his shirt on, she probably didn't know that he'd been thinking about her.

About how he could ever get her back.

Naturally, Toby couldn't sleep at all. Sometime after Spencer had fallen asleep, she'd moved all of her upper body to lie on his chest. He was frozen there, with both of her thin legs wrapped around his right one under the sheets. Her touch felt just as good as the first time they'd kissed.

He watched her face through the moonlight, envying her ability to sleep. It seemed as if the awkwardness they both displayed had no effect when she was tired. Her closed eyes and beautiful face seemed so peaceful.

But maybe he'd spoke too soon. Her calm, serene expression suddenly twisted in pain, and a single tear slipped down her cheek. Her right hand started grasping at nothing, leaving Toby shocked. She started to whimper, and he bent his head closer to hear her.

"Don't..." She sobbed, her breath hitching as another tear made its way over her cheek. "Don't go Toby...please..."

Without thinking, he grabbed and held her outstretched hand. She froze for a second, and Toby felt guilt wash over him like an uncomfortable lukewarm bath. She didn't really want him. He'd probably just imagined her saying his name, because _he _needed_ her _not the other way around. But then her face relaxed and a smile even tugged at her mouth on the corners.

And Toby smiled with her, and fell asleep in her arms.

_**A/N: BTW, there is a happy ending if I end it where I'm going to end it. Let me know if you think I should, or if I shout continue it :)**_

_**R+R!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**A/N: So hey, its the author here. Just wanted to give you guys some more hard-earned Spoby fluff :)**_

Spencer woke up with a start. Something had changed in her dream, she remembered. But what was it?

The dream went on like it normally did. But when it came for Toby to push her out of the car so she could fall, he saved her. As the car door opened to send her into that endless hole, he reached out and held her hand. He pulled her towards him, whispering I'm sorry.

Spencer didn't know how long she lay there, feigning sleep and thinking about the dream's surprise ending. She wondered why the dream had suddenly changed.

Opening her eyes, she finally got her answer. Her right hand was intertwined with Toby Cavanaugh's.

She sat up in shock, nearly hitting his chin. Why was she holding his hand?

She let her eyes meet his just for a second, and noticed that he seemed surprised at her reaction.

"Spencer?" He asked softly. "What just happened? What's wrong?"

"Wha-How-... Why am I holding your hand?"

His face seemed to crumple a little as he withdrew his hand from her's. "Sorry. I didn't know you didn't want to touch me. I should have known."

Oh, this was going right downhill. "No, Toby, I..". She grabbed his hand without any intention of letting go again. "I didn't mean it like that."

"What did you mean then?" He asked her.

"I was surprised."

They stared at each other for a while, searching each others' eyes for answers that they both didn't have. Then Spencer let out a sharp, broken laugh, surprising Toby. "We're so messed up aren't we?"

"Mmm, maybe we are." Toby smiled. "But I don't think I would ever change that. Just like how I would have never changed anything between us."

Spencer smiled, but her mind was in overdrive, fighting the war within her. She had to protect him. But hurting him wasn't protecting him, it was the opposite.

When Spencer didn't answer, Toby gave her a small, concerned smile. "Spencer? You're acting like, like you expect me to be mad at you."

"... Yeah, I guess it would be kind of logical to think that, Toby. I ran out on you, remember?"

He winced at the memory and she immediately felt bad about bringing up that day. But she wanted answers from him.

"So you don't, hate me?" She asked, looking down.

Toby's tired chuckle brought her gaze back up. "I could never hate you, Spencer."

"And you really meant what you said..." She paused nervously, looking down once again. " About the things I couldn't tell you?"

"Of course, Spencer." She looked back up as he responded, only to find him staring back at her intensely with his blue eyes. "I don't yell out a thing like that unless I really mean it."

Acting on her impulses, Spencer leaned forwards, capturing his lips with hers. He instantly responded to the feather-light touch, moving his hands to her waist. She took this as a sign that he wanted this too so she deepened the kiss, moving so she was straddling his hips. She ran her index finger down his stomach and over his abdomen, feeling him shudder underneath her. Toby locked both his hands behind the small of her back, and pulled her on top of him.

Spencer couldn't believe she wasn't dreaming. All her coherent thoughts had vanished at the single touch of his lips. There was no A, no striving constantly for perfection, and she was just a normal girl, falling farther and farther in love with a boy. And she knew he felt the same.

Spencer closed her eyes in pleasure as Toby's cool hands slipped up his shirt she was wearing. "I love you," he murmured close to her ear, sending shivers down her spine.

She pulled back and placed her right hand on his chest, looking nowhere but his eyes as the early morning sunlight fell over them. "I love _you._"

"Well that's good to hear." He grinned, and she grinned back, and they fell back onto his soft mattress with no regrets.

Just love.

_**A/N: So what do you think? Happy? Do you guys want me to continue it? R+R!**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**A/N: So for this story, I've decided that there probably isn't going to be any A included, just pure Spoby fluff. I'm writing the next chapter right now so it should be up soon. Please don't kill me for not updating a chapter, I haven't gone away I'm just taking a quick breather. If any of you have any ideas for ANY of my stories, I'd love to read them! Let me know what you think!**_

_**Bye! :)**_


End file.
